The Forum September 2024
Letting Go of Second-Guessing
It happened again. Soon after I shared my honest feelings with a loved one, I doubted myself. Had I said too much? Would it have been better if I’d kept quiet? Growing up gay in a home affected by alcoholism, I learned to keep quiet about my feelings. Much of my life before AlAnon was spent in fear of speaking my truth. I thought that if I shared who I really was and how I really felt, people would stop loving me. It became hard to trust myself, let alone anyone else.
Today, my Higher Power is giving me the courage to speak up in some situations, and to accept when silence is best in others. Reading the Just for Tonight bookmark (M-81) every night before bed has allowed me to recognize and gently let go of second-guessing myself. I do “take comfort in knowing that every event and circumstance that occurred today can be used for my good and the good of others.” That sentence gives me permission to stop judging and analyzing myself; the day is over. Now it belongs to my Higher Power, who can use it for my good and the good of others. “Just for Tonight,” I can set any lingering worries aside and “look forward to awakening to the new day, feeling rested and ready to follow my Higher Power’s guidance.”
By Kevin S., Iowa
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.